Idol is on tonight, woowoo, but unfortunetly we don't like Mariah Carey so we aren't doing a song list. And as usual it will be full of ballads and christians songs because we know Mariah epitimizes everything christian.
Our weekend was cool, we went to an op shop and bought a second hand vinyl player because we accidently broke the other one in a slapping bitch fight because William wanted to listen to Madonna and Elisha was up for Pet Shop Boys. Needless to say the gloves came on and the hair came out and the bitch (whichever one of us, take your pick) knocked the thing off our kitchen bench and it landed on our chihauau Wesley.
William dug a hole by the backyard pond for Wesley Goulash DePingleton and mum sang a jesus song whilst Elisha made a coffin. The three of us as a wonderful team. All togetherness.
R.I.P WESLEY GOULASH
We went to work as usual this week, early starts are a killer when you like to party, yes, we like to party, we like, we like to party, ahhh, the Vengaboys were crazy awesome! Anyways, the strawberry farm we work at isn't a hassle to get to or nothing so we generally allow a 30 min sleep in. Anyways, tuesday morn for some reason we didn't. In fact we both woke up 30 mins earlier and decided to leave straight for work. We have no idea why, boredom we figured but ended up leaving much earlier than we needed too as we are usually the first to arrive in the morning... (So first to leave in the afternoon).So anyways, neglecting to pack our lunches, Darlene in the lunch room packs a mean Meat Pie on tuesdays, we set off for work in the darkness.
Our styrofoam cupped coffees kept our hands warm as we walked the 20 minute shortcut. It cuts thru a small woods away from the road, but we can still see and hear cars on the country road, though that's never the case this early in the morning, as we said we are the first people to arrive and the road leads directly to the farm so there's no need for traffic at 3:30am.
But tuesday morning there was and we both stopped dead in our tracks to look at each other. We could hear an engine start up ahead in the distance and then speed off towards our direction. Whoever it was, they were leaving the farm and we certainly didn't want to go there alone, the short, skinny stoner and short, fat queen of pink William. Yeah, we'd do a fuck load of good on our own so we went to call the police but our mobiles were left on our fucking bedside tables. So anyways, Elisha got this sudden burst of courage and thinking about Neils farm she ran for the farm.
Squabbling behing, William puffed his way there also.
When we arrived there wasn't a car in the park nor a smashed window. We checked the crops and sheds, but nothing. Not a single broken or suspicious thing, zilch out of place. Hmm. so we sat down and caught our breaths and waited. And waited and waited and waited, finally Neil rocked up and commented to us about being early as usual. We didn't know if we should tell him about the car or not, but one thing was for sure, the car dind't sound like anybodies we know.
Anyways, we got to work immediately, starting on mulching, and from the very first row we felt there was something wrong. We stopped and looked at each other in the nazy blue darkness, our only light from inside the office so we switched on our neck lamps. We began the process (It involves manure let's not get into that) and got past the first block when we noticed the ground had been comprimised. We dug around a little with our mulcher but nothing was amoungst the dirt. But then we noticed a fallen strawbub (our affectionate nickname for ungrown strawberries) which was unusual since the soil we use produces a strong crop. Anyways, there were another and another and we followed a short trail to behind a small bush of fully grown berries. Again we double took each other and then began feeling around. Suddenly we both picked up a rotten strawberry each and dropped them, but they 'chinked' on our buckets so we picked them up again...
What we found was, hmm, what we mean is, and we don't say this at all lightly, if anyone finds out, especially the person who's car that was we could get killed, but we found stashed inside some strawberries as if they were some kind of box was ....4 diamond rings! Just smooshed into the strawberries. Like, hello, what the fuck!? We heard the back door open suddenly and stashed the rings into our pockets and kept going on our work, well pretended to- at least attempted to pretend to since Neil came over and gave us a ciggie each and a coffee and we sat down on some fold-ups and chatted about the footy last weekend. Neil only got 3 in the office tipping comp so we gave him shit for it but then we shut up immediately as he suddenly asked us why we were sweating in the cold.
"Hot from work" we answered in unison reading each others minds, or our own central processing brain we share... and he shrugged it off. William was looking out for where Neil was looking at to make sure it wasn't towards the rings and Elisha was watching his body language for lying. But he came off clean. Though we really really had lots and lots of fun all day watching out for suspicious behaviour from everyone else. So much so that whilst doing that we forgot about the rings and still have them. In our overall pockets, wrapped up in snotty handkercheif, all four of them.
At least all four that we could find.
Shit.
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