Pariah Mariah Carey and the Scary Idol n Abdul Debut

Great, another night of over produced, under written pop ballads about poor little Mariah bigboobs and the man she can't get. Poor poor Mariah, what's you gunna do, Mariah the pariah, whatchoo gunna do? Go on Idol of course, so here goes.

Randy Jacksons Wet Dream (a novella in 7 parts)

Chapter One: David Archuleta, bet he does 'When you Believe' low and behold, pffft, what a litte trollop. Typ-i-cal. Bring on Syesha and 'Hero' or another drenchy ballad. But here goes David and his voice still doesn't sound very appealing, yeah he's hitting notes but he sounds like he's being strangled. overall, 6/10

Chapter Two: Carly, now the proceedings shold begin, she's singing Without You, surprise surprise, if she hadn't tho she'd fail. Tho it's started and sounds a tad Kelly Clarkson, but sitll, nice, intense. 8/10

Chapter Three: Ha! Syesha! What a surprise, and no she's not singing Hero or a shit song we don't care for though, hang on yeah, it's another song we couldn't give two shakes of a hoot owl for. Screechy, bent and just plain generic, 7/10

Chapter Four: Brooke decides upon Hero, how sweet and we can only imagine where this is going. We like brooke, she has that whole Delta thing going, can't wait to hear her originals.. this is nice, accoustic, no backing orchestra, beautiful. lovely. 9/10

Chapter Five: Klitsy sing song shit all country like, she's crap so let's move on. 0/10

Chapter Six: David Cook, wow wow wowoowow smokin' hot, this guy is crazy cool (even cooler than The Vengaboys) and HE MUST WIN IT!!!
Who isn't sick of this song and then to hear this version shit all over everything else so far, 10/10 WE MISS MICHAEL!!!!!

Chapter Seven: Jason Castro, really good to see Mariahs input working, some of these guest mentors don't do thier job properly, but that's a tad surprising. Anyways, another nice, latino/accoustic flavoured ditty from Jason, sit really nice with him. 9/10

Epilogue: A few standouts, but David C wiped the floor with everyone else. Kristy should go it was horrid. If someone good goes again then the voters are silly. Tho it's already happened we don't know and shall find out soon!

Ciao, ciao, US!